Forever in mind
by Charlie'Rocker
Summary: A little two-shot where Carl reflects on his long lost friend. Chapter two might be more interesting
1. Chapter 1

**So I was rummaging through Tumblr and saw a gif set of Carl's and Sophia's friendship and just couldn't help myself. I don't own The Walking Dead, believe me, you would have seen hell tons of Caryl if I did!**

* * *

They have forgotten her.

Life keeps going on, and with all the deaths the group has had to cope with it's a little hard to remember every single person fallen every day since the beginning. He knows it. Still, it hurts him to see no one seems to remember her at least once in a while.

Carl recall's listening to Michonne bringing up Andrea at times, which irremediably makes Glenn or even his dad mention Amy. Sometimes Glenn tells a 'piece of wisdom' he thought Dale would say and Maggie tends to complete it with any words that would've been Hershel's.

Whenever someone starts singing, the ones that knew Beth comments on how beautiful her voice was, T-Dog's name is spoken when they talk about bravery and loyalty, and sometimes that leads to the mention of Jacquie.

Sasha is not fond of the reminder of her brother, she says it's still too fresh and Spencer agrees with her whenever someone mentions Deanna. Daryl at times murmurs Merle's name when he's back from hunting or a scavenge in his bike.

His mother is often brought to light whenever Judith hits a milestone in her short life, just not around his father. Hell, even _Shane_ gets to be remembered when things get wild.

But not her, not his friend. Carl seems to be the only one who thinks of her, not even her mother says her name (but to be fair, he can understand why she doesn't, it would be way too painful).

Carl can see her everywhere, even if he doesn't ever mention it.

When he sees a doll. When he sees white flowers. When he remembers the farm. When he remembers the long list of names options for his sister… Sometimes when he sees Enid.

Her short auburn hair, her shy voice, her gentle personality, her beautiful eyes… her milky, bloodshot eyes.

It's an understatement to say that Carl misses her, even after so long. He still feels the pang of guilt once in a while, when he manages to convince himself she would still be alive if he got her to stay under the car with him.

Whenever he's feeling lonely and happens to have a moment of peace he likes to imagine how she would look like now, with longer hair and inches taller… her body no longer the one of a kid but a teen's… how she would see him, the feel of her hand in his.

Carl can imagine himself teaching her how to shoot, making patrols with her, even if Carol didn't approve of it at first. He can picture her helping him with Judith, working with him on the crops, going to him for comfort after a rough night of sleep, smiling, laughing, _breathing._

He remembers his almost-kiss with Enid in the woods and how he pictured Sophia's face in front of him, exactly the reason why he pulled apart. He knew the pain would've been unbearable when he opened his eyes and found the brunette instead.

Carl thinks of her when he sees Glenn and Maggie, imagines they could've been like that… it didn't matter if they were just kids, the end of the world makes you long for that right company more than anything else.

It didn't matter that he was only twelve when he felt that clique with the shy and timid girl. He didn't know if he could call it love, nor he would ever get to find out.

"Sophia" he sighs longingly, mournfully… affectionately. He's not surprised when the name goes through his lips without him noticing, he often talks to her. "You would've loved this place… even though I know going through all those herds of walkers would've scared you outta your mind… but I could protect you…"

He wonders if this is how his father feels when he remembers his mother, if it's anything alike what Sasha goes through when she's reminded of Bob.

"Sophia…"

Did it hurt like losing a lover, even though she was never his? Carl was too embarrassed to ask any of those who had gone through it, how could he compare their losses to his? He could never understand them and they would never understand him.

Perhaps it was only the feeling of losing his first friend on the new world, perhaps he did love her with all the might a twelve-year-old had at the time.

Perhaps he began loving her after she was gone, with all the might a fifteen-year-old had to love a girl who was dead long ago.

* * *

 **What do you think? I've been writing TWD fanfic for a while now but this is my first one to upload! Opinions? God bless you all!**

 **~Charlie**


	2. Chapter 2

**So this is forever in mind second chap people! Originally it was going to be a one-shot but Sunday's episode got me thinking (and screaming… big time), so obviously, judging by the dialogue, Carl didn't die… I can feel it my heart. But let's just… let's just say he does. I own nothing but the plot! And I'm pretty sure the cannon won't be like that.**

* * *

"Anybody moves, anybody says anything, cut the boy's other eye out and feed it to his father and then we'll start" The frightening man told to his people as he stared down at his victim with a wicked smile

He was scared beyond believe, and still he found it ironic this psycho would force him to die blind if anyone of his group dared to move to help him.

Because he was going to die. It was the only thing he was 100% sure about.

"You can breathe, you can blink, you can cry. Hell, you're all gonna be doing that"

Carl was frozen in place, terrified and at the same time filled with a morbid sense of peace. He was not ready to die, not by a long shot; and even in the mess of a world, he still wanted to live... But... All anxiety and constant danger would be over.

What pained him most though, was the fact his father was watching. As if his mind state was not in a delicate balance as things were before. He wanted to turn and look at him, smile at him for the last time, tell him that he loved him, that even with all the ups and downs they had gone through he was proud of being his son and to watch out for little Judith. He wanted to do all that, but as soon as he saw the Negan lifting the bat Carl knew he wouldn't be able to take his eye off him.

He heard more than felt the barbed wire embedding in his skull, it was the same sound Walker's heads made when he pierced them. He wanted to scream but he found himself unable to, he began feeling lightheaded and he felt warm blood trickling down his face and neck. _His_ warm blood.

Before the rigging in his ears became too much he managed to pick up his father's strangled screams and what was surely someone beating him to keep him in place. Michonne's cries were almost as desperate as Rick's and Carl was almost sure he heard someone throwing up. Sounds of grief and despair slowly morphed into sobs, or perhaps it was just his sense was beginning to fade.

He regretted a lot of things. Not telling his little sister how much he loved her, even though she wouldn't understand. Never being able to say a proper goodbye to all his loved ones. Not hugging Enid when he could.

Carl wasn't sure if it was an impulse of his weakening muscles or it was an actual commanded action on his behalf, but he managed to lift his head again to look at his soon-to-be murderer.

"Oh! Look at that. Taking it like a champ!" The man grinned amused before swinging down the bat again.

Either he closed his eye, the blood completely covered his vision or he was finally blind. Hot pain exploded in his head as the third blown came, and the cracking of bone was so loud even in his almost deaf state he could hear it. Carl didn't know when it happened, but he could faintly feel the pressure of the floor on his chest and face.

He believed in God. It didn't matter everything the world went through nor what he once expressed to Carol after Sophia's death, he did believe in God. He did believe He had died on the cross for him and was his savior. So Carl prayed, for he was certain it wouldn't take long for him to meet the Creator of universe.

Suddenly the already excruciating pain became unbearable, it felt like they were splitting his head in two.

The life left his body before the last spark of consciousness could inform him that was exactly what was happening.

* * *

"Carl" The voice was so clear and soft, familiar yet different.

He didn't have a clue of where he was or of what was happening, he didn't remember much nor could pinpoint the exact moment when he appeared… there.

Everything was so bright and white, shiny he could say, and even thought he was completely unaware of his whereabouts, Carl felt oddly at peace.

Soft hands suddenly grabbed his face, and a little startled he stared into rich brown eyes.

Rich brown, warm, loving and sad eyes he remembered too well yet not quite. Slender fingers caressed his face softly, slowly running along his right eye. His restored right eye. He blinked twice and tried closing his left one, it was true, somehow, by some miraculous way, he had his right eye again.

By some miraculous way, he was looking at the beautiful girl he thought he would never see again.

"Oh Carl" Sophia said again, smiling softly "I don't know if I'm happy or not to see you"

He almost sobbed out a laugh and enveloped her in his arms, so joyous to have her back with him… or to be there with her that he didn't pay attention to her soft greeting.

She was grown, mature, no longer looking like the girl he remembered. Now he was a few inches taller than her, and her once skinny body and cheekbones were filled out healthily. She looked rosy, glowing, with longer lustrous hair and a flowing white dress. She looked stunning and he just couldn't believe she was alive.

"Oh Carl" She hummed again "I think I should say I'm sorry you died… But I'm beyond relieved and so happy to see you _here_ "

The big smile that had been stretching his mouth suddenly vanished, as he remembered all too well the monstrous bat. He tenderly unwrapped himself from Sophia and reached behind his head with caution.

The girl got hold of his hands and smiled warmly, making him look at her with heartache, oh how he had missed her "Don't worry, it's not there anymore" She let go of one hand and reached for the neckline of her dress, scooting it aside so he could see the unmarred flesh of her shoulder "We have new bodies here".

He was sad, really sad to find out the truth, he was dead… he felt sorrow at the thought of not seeing his extended family for what could be a long, long time. And at the same time, he hoped he wouldn't get to see them in a really long time. At least he wasn't alone.

He hugged the glowing girl again, happy to see her well. As alive as they could get. And with him in what appeared to be together for eternity.

"Are the others here?" He asked, suddenly hopeful to see all of his friends that had perished before him.

Sophia smiled sadly again "Not everyone. Not everyone had accepted the gift of God, not all of them thought He was real… So no, but there's a few I think you might remember"

She gestured behind her, and he swore he could see T-Dog and Jacquie walking side by side. He could see Dale off to the left talking with a woman Carl didn't recognize. They were all the same… but different somehow, they all appeared to be glowing, youthful and healthier than ever. He wondered if he looked like that too.

"Wait! What of the others? Beth, Hershel, Andrea…" Carl asked, making the auburn haired girl cast him a sad smile

"I don't know Carl. I never met them. As for Andrea I thought she was still alive"

The young boy stared at her in confusion "But… couldn't you see them with us?"

Sophia giggled a little "No silly, we can't see you, any of you… well, them. Once we get here we never get to know what happens with those who are still alive, only if they get here when they die"

Carl was saddened by this, he hoped he could get to see his father when he missed him, and to see his sister grow.

"Don't get sad" she said gently cupping his cheek "It's just the way it is, with all His glory, believe me, there's no need for us to look back at what he had"

"Don't you miss Carol?" He asked, wondering if she could understand him.

"At first, now I just hope someday I'll get to see her again" She answered with a smile, planting a soft kiss on his cheek and grabbing his hand "Don't worry, I bet if your dad really knows you as I'm sure he does, he'll know what you believed in. Hopefully you will see him again too"

If he had blood in this new body, he was sure it would be up in his cheeks, as he finally got to experience the feeling of her hand in his, even if it wasn't how he thought it might happen. The ghost of her lips still lingering in his skin, he knew he could get accustomed to it.

"Speaking of loving Fathers" Sophia said turning around and pulling him along with her "I think there's someone you might love to meet"

* * *

 **So this is it, the real end. I'm sorry, it's all Negan's fault, I swear it was just only going to be a one-shot. So I'm Christian and I wanted to write some Carl x Sophia meeting after his death but I didn't want to go too far away from reality… if you can understand what I mean. I'm sorry if someone felt offended or something by the sorts by my take on this but these are my beliefs and I will appreciate it for you guys to respect that, if you don't well, then I guess that's fine too, God loves all of us guys and He sent His precious son to die in that cross for us, all we have to do is recognize or sins and follow Him. Lots of love!**

 **~Charlie**


End file.
